If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
