i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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