They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
