I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
