She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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