HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize