I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
