All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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