Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
