i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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