She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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