On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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