I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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