I must be too annoying 4 u.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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