I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
