I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
