i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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