He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
