help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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