i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Still dying that you shit outside
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
