How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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