so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
