guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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