Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
