Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
