we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
