I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize