This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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