I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
