If i come over, it means nothing
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish you could order shots online.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
