Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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