you guys were way drunker than both of me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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