Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
