Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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