haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Welp...herpes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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