You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
