Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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