i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
