The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
