where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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