normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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