I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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