I want to stick my p in your. b.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't deserve a penis
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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