He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
