I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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