Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
