do herpes really smell.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
