plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
