Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You ruined the universe
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
