C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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