I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize