I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize