I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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