You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
