I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i out mim tonsoeep
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