I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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