I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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