It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
