White coat. Heels.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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